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Review – The Glades

July 17, 2010

The Glades – A&E – 10:00/9:00pm Sunday – USA

Whenever a fellow countryman scores a job it always instils in you bit of pride. Look at that Aussie actor, I saw him back in the day on McLeod’s Daughters and now he’s fronting his very own cable network detective series. So please believe me when I say that it gives me no pleasure whatsoever to let you know that Aussie actor Matt Passmore delivers the single most horrible performance of the year. Passmore’s Jim Longworth isn’t just a bad character, but he’s a character so god-awful and grating that he makes The Glades almost impossible to sit through.

The Glades itself is a brand new detective series from A&E, the network that brought the world such cultural touchstones as Dog The Bounty Hunger and Criss Angel Mindfreak. The Glades follows around Detective Jim Longworth as he solves crimes in South Florida, which means we’ll be treated to lots of shots of swamps, and golf courses, and pretty beaches. None of this matters though, because the character of Jim Longworth is such an irritating lead that if you survive the first ad break I’d be surprised.

Jim Longworth is the latest in a long line of leading characters in TV series that just doesn’t know when to shut up. The sort of guy who doesn’t play by the rules, frustrates his co-workers and always has that smarmy look of self-satisfaction when he does things “his way.” The sort of guy whom if you knew him in real life you’d call him an asshole, but because this is TV he’s our hero. It’s not just me who grew tired of Jim’s smug antics, every single other character in The Glades mentioned to Jim how annoying he was. The official Glades website describes him as “hard to get along with” – they don’t know the half of it. His golf partner is endlessly frustrated with him, his prospective girlfriend gives up trying to stop his advances and just agrees to date him, and his partner (spoiler alert, not that you’d need it because you shouldn’t watch this show) actually kills his wife after she left him because, and this is quite seriously the reason, she got sick of him bitching about Jim.

If murder is being committed because of how annoying Jim is, how does anybody expect us to sit around and watch this guy solve predictable crimes every week? A douchey hero is expected to some degree, because watching a mope who plays by the rules and gets the job done in his own time isn’t as much fun as watching a maverick, but The Glades completely miscalculates that idea and instead of just making him a maverick they make him a dick who’s so full of his own importance that when the final confrontation with his partner happens and his partner holds a gun to Jim’s head and Jim still has the audacity to say “I’m just a better cop than you” I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who screamed “JUST SHOOT HIM!” at the TV.

Jim Longworth is a narcissistic prick with seemingly has no internal monologue, because every stupid thought that appears in his head just bursts right out of his mouth. Now I’m going to present you with an everyday situation and then place Jim Longworth in that situation. This is what going through the drive-thru with Jim Longworth would be like. You’re driving the car and Jim is sitting in the passenger seat, probably holding a golf club, cause he’s quirky and does things like that.

You: I’m getting the Big Mac, what are you going to get?
Jim: What am I going to get? What am I going to get? How about this, how about I just eat your burger when you order it, hmm?
You: Just pick something off the menu.
Jim: I just did, didn’t I?
McDonalds Girl: May I take your order.
You: We’re here, what do you want?
Jim: Nothing. I don’t want anything.
(Jim gets up and walks out of the car around to the window to talk to the McDonalds girl)
Jim: How’s it going? Bit of a busy day, don’t you think? My friend here wants a Big Mac, I was wondering if you could make that for him?
You: What are you doing, Jim? I was just about to order. Get back in the car, why can’t you just play by the rules.
(Jim now jumps up on the counter window to talk to the girl, despite the fact he’s being a massive asshole the girl now seems interested in him.)
Girl: I’ll get right on that.
(She smiles, he gives her a wink. Seconds later she returns with the Big Mac.)
Jim: Thanks.
Girl: Anytime.
(Jim gets back in the car.)
You: Why do you always do shit like that?
Jim:  What? You got your Big Mac, didn’t you?
You: Can I have it now?
Jim (a mouth full of your Big Mac): Oops. Sorry. I already ate it. Too bad.

Now imagine that scenario stretched out for an hour and replace the ordering of a Big Mac with his approach to detective work, and replace yourself with every single character Jim interacts with in this show.

There are three people who should be banned from television for creating such an awful character and for not one of them stopping the others from going too far. Writer Clifton Campbell, for putting every obnoxious line of dialogue down on paper, Matt Passmore, for not reigning in his performance with even a hint of self-deprecation, and director Peter O’Fallon who let the pair of them run amuck with a character who, if he existed in the real world, would be punched in the face every day of his life. Jim Longworth is an unrepentant asshole who gets everything right, has everything go right for him, has women inexplicably faun over him, puts all of his friends and co-workers offside, and by basing a show around him The Glades has rendered itself completely unwatchable.

Good, Alright, Bad Or Ugly?
Ugly

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. James Cameron permalink
    July 26, 2010 10:53 pm

    Well you seem to be in the minority, the shows getting good viewer numbers & reviews in the states. I guess the people at channel Ten don’t hold the same view either hey?

    • pdjones permalink*
      July 27, 2010 12:33 am

      I know. There’s just something about that main character that rubbed me the wrong way. Take out my opinion of him and it’s just a nice looking, fairly average detective series.

    • P.MASSEY permalink
      October 25, 2010 3:00 pm

      THIS IS A TERRIFIC SHOW. SOME DRAMA BUT ALSO LIGHT
      HEARTED. THE MAIN CHARACTER IS VERY HANDSOME IN A BOYISH WAY. I LOVE THIS SHOW…

  2. Sbsaintc permalink
    August 6, 2010 5:17 am

    Amen, he is a jerk and completely unlikeable. You know things are bad when you want someone to knock “the hero’s” block off.

  3. Paula permalink
    August 30, 2010 2:22 pm

    I think Jim annoys men more than he does women. If you watch past the first episode, you begin to see more to him than a snarky narcissist, but it sounds like you aren’t going to bother with this show.

    I love the actor and the character.

    • pdjones permalink*
      August 30, 2010 10:52 pm

      I’ve actually heard this a couple of times – that Jim isn’t nearly as annoying as I found him.

  4. cathie hamilton permalink
    September 5, 2010 5:23 pm

    The single most annoying tv character I’ve run across in a long time. Can’t stand the dialog and the fact that that have the females in the series falling all over him is ridiculous.

    • pdjones permalink*
      September 6, 2010 2:30 am

      Thank you. I knew it wasn’t just me. God, he drove me up the wall.

  5. Mila permalink
    September 13, 2010 4:01 am

    i absolutely LOVE the glades… and Jim Longworth is an amazing character its not his fault that everyone believes people now a days should be fake and unrealistic and as to the review up above how it says that he blurts out every thought he has, well thats a QUALITY that i believe lots of others should have. so why dont you stop spending all your time criticizing something that you can never accomplish or become
    have a nice day =)

    • pdjones permalink*
      September 13, 2010 6:48 am

      Something I’ll never accomplish or become? Do you mean ‘making a detective series’ or ‘acting like a raging asshole to those I meet because I’m the quirky no-nonsense lead of a detective series’?

  6. Amelia permalink
    September 24, 2010 12:06 pm

    Is it my imagination, or does it sound like Jim hung out with too many valley girls when he was growing up?

  7. CATHIE permalink
    October 10, 2010 9:54 pm

    The single most annoying character on tv, hands down. I thought if I watched a few episodes I might get use to it. His nurse/med student still married to convict girlfriend is also very annoying. All his snarky comments are not funny or charming just obnoxious. And all the women who are falling all over him, PLEASE!

  8. January 11, 2011 2:30 am

    I like the show and he’s not hard to look at either!! It has some interesting stories that kept me watching. I just read it was picked up for its second season. Will see if it holds up. Some shows, like White Collar and Desperate Housewives, fell flat on the 2nd season opening for me. As well as the law show with William Shattner.

  9. Cathie permalink
    May 23, 2011 2:23 pm

    Watched the entire 1st season to make sure that I wasn’t jumping to any hasty conclusions. Still sticking with my original opinion that this single most annoying,obnoxious,arrogant character on tv. He’s not cute,charming or funny. I can’t believe A and E actually ordered a second season! The best character on this show is actually the M.E..

  10. Rick permalink
    July 2, 2011 7:39 am

    I agree with the writer of the post, as well as with Cathie. The beginning episode made me wonder if this guy would have any redeeming qualities for me to want to like him. So far, after watching the first nine episodes, all I can say is that I had to look online to see if anyone else hates this character like I do. The way he treats people, especially the wannabe girlfriend, would cause me to tell him to eff off and never come around me anymore. You cannot trust the guy to be honest with you, so why have him around? He is not likeable enough to root for.
    And the so-called girlfriend talks like she’s a frog most of the time, which is extremely annoying. Her kid, however, is actually a character that brings some balance to the atmosphere.
    As for the coroner partner, how are we supposed to believe that he and his assistant know so much about everything? Really? At least make them read a book once in a while to let us understand that they are innately brilliant.
    Also, a fight once in a while or a chase scene might add something to the drama that is lacking in every freaking episode. Sure, the guy is handsome enough, but he lacks that Magnum charm.

  11. Vera permalink
    July 3, 2013 9:37 am

    I watched this series for a while….and Jim is annoying…and he is not really good at his job…he just accuses everyone and yes …eventualy accusing the right one….
    not watching anymore…..

  12. Chris permalink
    August 24, 2013 5:26 pm

    I feel the same exact way as Vera.. what annoys me the most is that he just goes around accusing everyone like he has convinced himself he’s got the right person. Then sometime through the accusation, a light bulb goes off and he accuses someone else. This goes on and on until he finally gets the right person.
    My girlfriend still watches the show… but I am done with it.

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