Review – Live To Dance

Live To Dance – CBS – 8:00/7:00pm Wednesday – USA

Paula Abdul is back on TV and I think we’re supposed to be excited about that. Her new show Live To Dance is yet another dance competition and somehow I don’t think we’re supposed to be excited about that. Live To Dance lifts elements from So You Think You Can Dance, like the dancing, and America’s Got Talent, like the fact that anybody of any age can compete, whilst adding small nonsensical twists, like the auditions taking place in a moveable dome or the fact the judges don’t confer before casting their vote… which are both game changing innovations.

Joining Paula on the judging panel are Pussycat Dolls member and professional moron Kimberly Wyatt and Randy-Jackson-if-he-was-gay Travis Payne who once worked with Michael Jackson, but he’d be far too humble to mention that every fifteen minutes. Taking on the hosting duties is Australia’s own Andrew G who is now one step closer to his dream of fully morphing into Ryan Seacrest. The format is identical to every reality competition you’ve ever seen – people are either inspiring and make it through, or inspiring and don’t make it through. Actually, there was a notable absence of obnoxious performers who we can all laugh at, so I guess Live To Dance was different in one respect.

After the first ten minutes of unrelenting noise and hyperactive editing I was ready to declare Live To Dance the worst new show of 2011 (get it, because the year has only just started…) but over the course of the next hour and a half I slowly warmed to show. However, I feel that may be due less to the merits of the show and more to the fact that Live To Dance had beaten me into submission. Don’t worry, Live To Dance never convinced me that it was ever worth watching again, all it managed to do was ease the pain as I came to terms with the fact that nearly two hours of my life had just been spent watching people of all ages bust moves on television.

Live To Dance feels like it should be really awful, I mean, the show does seem unusually excited about the fact they get to dance in a dome, but it isn’t a complete train wreck. The only saving grace may actually be that the usual nastiness you find in reality auditions is all but absent. This really is American Idol as seen through the eyes of Paula Abdul; everything is inspiring and loveable. She says things like “the joy and the love of dance” a lot and nonsense like “the heavens above of greatness” whilst still knowing when to draw the line and say no to a performer. Not always, but most of the time.

The biggest problem with Live To Dance is that it’s completely full of shit. I don’t just mean in that typical ‘oh it’s a reality show so it must be crap’ kind of way but in the standards the show sets for itself. Travis and Kimberly go on and on about how they’re “looking for the absolute best dancers in America” whilst also giving standing ovations to old people with very little talent. The reason shows like So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol don’t open the floor to ‘all ages!’ is to save the judges from looking like hypocritical morons by letting an adorable ten year old through to the next round whilst turning away a talented group of 20somethings because they’re “looking for the best”. They even put through a pair of pensioners who wouldn’t pass muster at the nursing home talent quest just because the show is under the impression that old people dancing is adorable.

So either Paula’s criteria of applauding people for their love of dance is what gets them through or Tavis’s criteria for looking for the best, you can’t have both because then the next round consists of nothing but highlighting the obviously talented and culling the novelty acts. (Although, I’ve just looked at the groups who made it through the Top 18 and there are Bev & Hap, those terrible old people, who are going to coast on viewer support for ages. Sigh). Live To Dance is one of the nicer reality competitions out there but that doesn’t make it any less terrible. All the pandering of America’s Got Talent but with three times the dancing is not a great formula for a TV show.

Good, Alright, Bad Or Ugly?
Bad