Review – The Bachelor: Officer & A Gentleman
The Bachelor: Officer & A Gentleman – ABC – Season 10 – USA / GO! – 9:30pm Tuesday – AUS
Officer & A Gentleman debuted on GO! this past week. It marks the tenth season of The Bachelor. By scientific calculations that would indicate that there are a lot of desperate women willing to appear on television in order to find that emotion humans call “love”.
The officer & gentleman of the series title is Lt. Andy. He’s a handsome Navy doctor who looks like he belongs in a department store window. From his introduction package he seems to spend his free time staring at war memorials. We also found out that on top of being a Navy doctor, he’s also an iron man and was named humanitarian of the year, yet he stills needs reality TV to get himself a girl. What about this handsome humanitarian Navy iron man doctor is so off putting to women in real life? Does he collect pennies? Toe nails? Children?
Vying for the attention of this child collecting Navy doctor are 25 shrill women who have been force fed too much champagne by the producers. This is the point in the review where I tell you I’ve never seen The Bachelor before. Though, this first episode of season 10 confirmed every suspicion I’ve ever had about the show.
The Bachelor looks and acts like every reality program you’ve ever seen. It’s allowed to, of course, being one of the forefathers of the genre. But just like the random wildlife shots of Survivor seeing sweeping shots of a mansion to establish the scene gets kind of old after a while. Why must reality shows always employ the ‘COMING UP’ technique before every ad break? Do they really think we’re just going to disappear without a taste of what’s up next? They don’t do it on CSI. You never hear COMING UP and see a couple of shots of Grissom nabbing a crook and then saying “I know who the killer is!” to keep you interested.
Reality dating shows are supposed to be a bit of dumb fun, but The Bachelor is more dumb than fun. When you watch a pair of drunk girls bake a cake using tequila as the main ingredient you quickly become aware you are watching bad television.
The Farmer Wants A Wife works because it’s a little bit dumb, it’s a little bit fun, but it has a nice heart. The Bachelor wants a bunch of skanky wannabe models, actresses and singers to get drunk and fight each other for the affections of a man with the personality of a drumstick.
To be fair to The Bachelor it was played pretty straight. A bunch of girls try to win over the same guy. There were no shitty twists, like half of the girls actually being robots or anything like that… at least not yet anyway. You know by now if you love or hate this type of show. If you enjoy watching tasteless women make fools of themselves well then The Bachelor is the show for you.
Even the hint of true love isn’t anywhere to be found. The first nine seasons brought about nine break ups so what are the odds that even if this bachelor proposes that they’ll ever go through with the wedding? There’s just something very desperate and sad about the face people still come on this show looking for love when it’s produced not one successful relationship.
Will you accept this rose? You know what? I think I’ll pass this time, thanks.
Good, Alright, Bad Or Ugly?
Bad
